August 29, 2010

A Letter To An Aspiring Writer

Dear Aspiring Writer (you know who you are),

I'm here to tell you that you must write that novel of yours.  Why am I nagging at you?  Because recently I was given this for free (by a shirtless cowboy, no less):

Crime Scene At Cardwell Ranch.  It's a Harlequin Romance.  And guess what?  I read it.  *hangs head in shame*  In, like, ten minutes.  And I'm telling you right now you need to get going on that novel.  You so can do it. 

Okay, I know I'm not a big one to talk as you know I haven't written anything nearly close to a novel, or even kept up with this blog very well, but I've been writing otherwise, published or not, so shut up.

Apparently, according to Crime Scene At Cardwell Ranch, you don't even need to use big words or create complex characters to write a bona fide novel.  Just so you know.

Just sit down at that computer and write.  Please.  The world needs to read something other than a romance novel written by a person who goes by the name B. J.  That's just disgusting.

Tell you what.  I'll take you to see the cowboy and he can give you a copy of this very same book.  You can read it and see what your competition is.  You will be inspired.  You will be motivated.  You will be so moved to prove to yourself that you can do it.  And if you aren't inspired, motivated, or moved, you'll at least get to see a very young, cut cowboy who gives away smutty romance novels for a living. 

Yours in literary excellence (wishful dreaming at least),