April 28, 2011

Pinky! Get Off The Rail!

OK, well, I keep bugging a blogger friend of mine (who shall remain nameless for fear she will get defensive and lash out in a most unbecoming way) to get busy and write on her blog for crying out loud.  What in the hell do you create a blog for if you aren't going to write on it?  Well, I realized it's been a while since I've written on my own blog so I guess I can't cast stones. 

But because I love to cast stones and need to feel superior to most people in general I decided to dash off a little post here.  I have no idea what it's going to say, which means it will be completely worthless, but at least I'll have a new post up, which is more than I can say for some people who haven't written anything in over a year. 

Psychology Lesson:  The defense mechanism labeled Projection in the immature stage (as opposed to the neurotic stage or the pathological stage) is defined as a reducing anxiety by attributing one's own unacknowledged unacceptable/unwanted thoughts and emotions [or blog-writing practices] to another. 

Long and short, I'm the mental one because not only am I not writing blog posts I also have an immature need to blame other people for not writing blog posts while ignoring the fact that I don't write blog posts.

See?  I told you this would amount to nothing.  Except dig this...

Get it?  Pink Freud.  Good thing I take my psychology degree so seriously.  On the other hand, Dr. Freud would probably applaud my healthy superego, which is nice enough to let my ego make jokes in order to soothe my otherwise troubled emotional state. 

March 17, 2011

Begosh And Begorrah

Today I *ahem* "celebrate" thirty-one years of service with the public sector. I know, I've been with this job longer than a lot of you have been alive, but I assure you it was very unintentional. Thirty-one years of beige walls. Thirty-one years of customers who suck the life right out of you, some with really sad stories and others who manipulate the system to avoid being productive members of society. Thirty-one years of seeing different administrations come and go. I especially loved the last six years of no raise, which will probably remain the trend until I retire. At this point of my working life I can say it will all be worth it only when I'm loafing around in a hammock collecting my pension.

Today is also St. Patrick's Day. Happy that, to whomever welcomes the greeting. I don't normally go to my day job on St. Patrick's Day, my work anniversary, because St. Patrick's Day in St. Paul, MN can be a little rambunctious. I recall many years ago having to take the bus to and from work, and the ride home on St. Patrick's Day usually consisted of much raucous talk and even a bit of puking. Lovely. And no, the raucous talk and puking didn't come from me. Eventually I just stopped going to work on that day all together to avoid the sour smell of barf. The tradition stuck even after I started driving a car to work.

I'm not really sure why I'm at the day job today, after many many years of skipping it. Perhaps the job zombies ate my brain while I wasn't looking. Whatever the reason I want you to pity me, and also admire my persistence and dedication. I need this from you, because frankly, thirty-one years doesn't much matter to those whom I serve.

March 01, 2011

Turn Around

It was a small house on the side of a mountain, and the middle of the night.  I was watching this video when I realized we wouldn't be together forever; in fact, it was the end that night.  You woke up and came to sit with me as I watched.  You had no idea...

January 31, 2011

Oh My God (Say That In Your Best Valley Girl Voice)

OK, what could be better for my 200th post than a movie review?  Only one of the best movies ever!

Boyfriend and I were sitting around on Saturday night with our 735 channels of cable TV and chose to watch the SyFy original movie Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.  I am not even shitting you.  And don't judge us.  I know you have your stupid guilty pleasure TV shows so you are in no position to throw your self-righteous stones.

First of all there is not much "versus" going on as mostly the giant alligators and pythons are pretty much eating people more than they are each other.  Which definitely makes a better movie, but I'm just saying the title should be Mega Pythons And Gatoroids vs. Small And Wimpy People.

Of course the cast is phenomenal.  Remember Tiffany?  Remember Debbie Gibson?

Oh yeah, they were hot in the '80s, or so I've heard.  I wasn't into the little girl music, but that's another story.  These young ladies aren't young anymore.  And before you get all over me for trashing women who age I just want to say they're they're old has-beens doing a B movie.  The formula for success is adding up nicely for Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. 

The girls were wearing these exact outfits in the movie throughout all of their struggles with the mutant amphibians.  Boyfriend was just waiting for a costume malfunction but not once did Debbie's dress slip off nor did Tiff's boobs fall out.  However, he was blessed with a cat fight between the two.

There was also a special guest cameo by Mickey Dolenz of The Monkees.  He was hired to play at the soiree at which the girls had their cat fight, but the second before he was going to sing he was swallowed up by a giant snake.

I highly recommend seeing this movie if you'd like to see the oldsters fighting off big scaly things with stuff like sticks and floating rifles.  I'd also go out on a limb and say the special effects of this movie are about the worst I've ever seen.  Best part about it?  The heroines can't survive with their skinny legs and undulating boobs.  Yep, they too become vittles for the snakes and gators. 

Now that I've totally spoiled the movie for you, go watch it.  Because seriously?  You totally need to laugh this hard.