January 31, 2011

Oh My God (Say That In Your Best Valley Girl Voice)

OK, what could be better for my 200th post than a movie review?  Only one of the best movies ever!

Boyfriend and I were sitting around on Saturday night with our 735 channels of cable TV and chose to watch the SyFy original movie Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.  I am not even shitting you.  And don't judge us.  I know you have your stupid guilty pleasure TV shows so you are in no position to throw your self-righteous stones.

First of all there is not much "versus" going on as mostly the giant alligators and pythons are pretty much eating people more than they are each other.  Which definitely makes a better movie, but I'm just saying the title should be Mega Pythons And Gatoroids vs. Small And Wimpy People.

Of course the cast is phenomenal.  Remember Tiffany?  Remember Debbie Gibson?

Oh yeah, they were hot in the '80s, or so I've heard.  I wasn't into the little girl music, but that's another story.  These young ladies aren't young anymore.  And before you get all over me for trashing women who age I just want to say they're they're old has-beens doing a B movie.  The formula for success is adding up nicely for Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. 

The girls were wearing these exact outfits in the movie throughout all of their struggles with the mutant amphibians.  Boyfriend was just waiting for a costume malfunction but not once did Debbie's dress slip off nor did Tiff's boobs fall out.  However, he was blessed with a cat fight between the two.

There was also a special guest cameo by Mickey Dolenz of The Monkees.  He was hired to play at the soiree at which the girls had their cat fight, but the second before he was going to sing he was swallowed up by a giant snake.

I highly recommend seeing this movie if you'd like to see the oldsters fighting off big scaly things with stuff like sticks and floating rifles.  I'd also go out on a limb and say the special effects of this movie are about the worst I've ever seen.  Best part about it?  The heroines can't survive with their skinny legs and undulating boobs.  Yep, they too become vittles for the snakes and gators. 

Now that I've totally spoiled the movie for you, go watch it.  Because seriously?  You totally need to laugh this hard.