August 13, 2006

Our State Fair Is The Best State Fair

The countdown continues. Only eleven days until the commencement of the Minnesota State Fair. We received an insert in the Sunday paper containing information on all the fun things to do at the fair, and this lovely woman was on the front of it. Yow. Although Pronto Pups (otherwise known as corn dogs, Poncho Dogs, and hot dog on a stick) are a necessary staple to one's State Fair diet, this picture is just a little strange. The woman has an odd, wild look in her eyes, like she is about to embark on some orgasmic experience while eating the Pronto Pup. Of course the phallic nature of the Pronto Pup doesn't help much. Boyfriend said, "Well, at least her lips aren't wrapped around it, and there's no mayonnaise running down her chin." God! We all know that mayonnaise has nothing to do with Pronto Pups, but ketchup does, which might even be a worse visual than the one Boyfriend suggested.

Getting past the picture of the crazed weiner-eating woman I browsed through the insert and was pleasantly surprised to see this:

I long for the good old days of fairs and carnivals, as I mentioned previously, and this is a small compromise on the part of the carnival that I can accept. Bring on the human oddities! In our politically correct society I’m not supposed to want to look at the “freaks,” so I’ll settle instead for a little fire eating, sword swallowing, contorting, and optical illusions such as Cobra Girl.

FYI, the freaks of the Ringling Brother’s et. al. circus didn’t appreciate the government restricting their participation in the circus. When it became politically incorrect to gawk at people with no limbs, pointed heads, or hairy dog faces the freaks were left to fend for themselves in a world that was conditioned to merely gawk at them. They were unemployable everywhere but the circus. They were treated and compensated very well in their employment with the circus, and basically spat upon those who deemed their livelihood politically incorrect. So you see, we’ve actually done them a disservice in deleting them from the carnival/circus experience.

On a lighter note, I’ve decided to join the carnival as the new gorilla girl, Zambora. Remember her? She was a beautiful and bodacious woman scantily clad in a leopard-skin bikini who would, before your very eyes, turn into a ferocious, 900-pound gorilla. I think I’d be perfect for the job.

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