January 26, 2007

Why Don't We Talk Good?

What is this expression, “In the now?” Ugh! It’s like how people turn nouns into verbs. “I’m going to office from home today.” “I’m trying to live in the now.”

Listen carefully. I’m typing this slowly and deliberately so everyone can understand, even those of you who missed the short bus this morning: Instead of “I’m going to office from home today,” say: “I’m going to work from home today,” OR “I’m going to work from my home office today.” And instead of saying “I’m trying to live in the now,” say: I’m trying to live in the present,” OR “I’m trying to live now.”

I’m sick and tired of trying to figure out what everyone is saying. If someone isn’t cutting off the ends of their words due to laziness or a disablingly thick tongue, someone else is making up an entirely different vocabulary that is nerve-wrackingly similar to the one I know, yet so foreign that I can’t help but think the person using such vocabulary is either really uppity or really retarded. If you're going to speak English, speak it properly. Not that I’m trying to tell people what to do.

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