January 21, 2012

Not Exactly Jesus, But Just As Impressive

I've been away for a while and it seems I've lost touch with my dark side, my angry side, my snarky side, my downright hateful side.  That side is a huge part of me and frankly, I've missed it.  Enough of the Suzy Creamcheese I'm forced to show on my other blog ~ I'm tired of pretending to be always cheerful, creative, upbeat and perky.  I'm so much more myself when I let my mean out.

This post isn't exactly about mean, but is pretty disgusting and the subject matter made me think of another post I wrote, which made me think of Faux Ma, which in turn poked at that part of me which has been repressed for the sake of tolerant harmony and support.

The other day Boyfriend and I were having our little dinner together.  It had been a busy day for Boyfriend so instead of either of us cooking he brought home some Bruegger's bagle sandwiches.  To go along with them we had some potato chips.

I'm not one to get all hyped up over seeing the face of Jesus in an overdone tortilla or the image of the Virgin Mary peering through the crust of a freshly baked loaf of bread.  But people travel from far and wide to get a glimpse of these occurrences, claiming they're divine, a message from God.  Nor do I get too excited over vegetables that grow to look the face of Richard Nixon or Abraham Lincoln.  Like the holy images, these vegetables become famous enough to make the local news.

As Boyfriend and I were munching away on our sandwiches and chatting away about our day I picked up a potato chip.  My eyes widened a snicker came out of my nose as it would a nasty-minded 4th grader.  I showed the chip to Boyfriend and all he could say was, "Good God."  Neither of us could eat the potato chip and still, to this day, sits in a pretty green bowl on our kitchen countertop.  It seems wrong to throw away such a freakish creation, and yet neither of us could bring ourselves to eat it.

I'm not kidding you.  It's a cooter chip.  Feast your eyes on this crispy vision of loveliness.  I ask you, could you eat it?  Do you think I should contact the local news team to cover this story?  Would people come from other lands to get a glimpse of, or even worship, the cooter chip?  Could I make millions off of this?  Have I completely lost my mind in spending time photographing and writing about the cooter chip?  Am I a lesbian?  The questions just keep coming and I can't decide what to make of it all.

What would you do if you came across a cooter chip on your plate?  Would you blush?  Would you gobble it up before anyone could identify the fact that you were eating a cooter in plain view?  Would you pass it around to show all of your friends? 

Such is the life of someone who doesn't get out much, looking for fame and fortune in the discovery of a cooter chip.  I doubt anything will become of my find, but here it will stay for all of eternity, on Meredith's blog filled with all things childish and disgusting.


MaryAnn said...

Keep digging in those potato chip bags and once you find a chip that looks like a penis you can petition the Smithsonian to declare your find an artistic treasure and have a gallery showing of it and everything!

Meredith said...

Oh, I can't believe you said the "p" word! But sex education through potato chips is definitely worth a display at the Smithsonian.

Meredith said...

Oh, I can't believe you said the "p" word! But sex education through potato chips is definitely worth a display at the Smithsonian.