The Season Of Black Cats and Beer

I read the blogs, I laugh at the blogs, I surf the blogs, but do I write the blogs? Oh, I know I can make up an excuse like, “my dog ate my blog,” but you’d never believe me. I won’t give any excuses today, but will simply state what is going on in my life.

Boyfriend and I went to an Indian Casino on Friday afternoon. I use the term “Indian Casino” (that would be the “feather, not dot” variety of Indian) to distinguish them from the mobster casinos in Las Vegas. While there is nothing on earth that compares to the casino life in Las Vegas (except maybe for places like Atlantic City and Monoco and many other places famous for gambling that I’ve never visited) the Indian Casinos at least give you a chance to take a chance, even though it is usually in a most unsophisticated style. I’m not really clear on why Minnesota Indian Casinos will not allow roulette tables but Wisconsin Indian Casinos do. OK, I’m not even sure if that is the case, but the Indian Casino closest to our house does not offer roulette, which is very, very sad. I love roulette. I get big adrenaline rushes when I play roulette. I feel like a glamorous movie star when I sit at the roulette table drinking and smoking and tossing my chips around like nobody’s business. (Note to self: next trip to Vegas, wear strapless evening gown and long white gloves to prove even more glamorous. Note #2 to self: buy strapless evening gown and long white gloves.) Instead of watching a little ball find its way into a little, numbered cubby on that spinny wheel thing on the table, Boyfriend and I watched the spinspinspin of the video slot machines. Carnival of Mysteries is my favorite these days. It makes really cool noises, even if you only win five credits. (One time I won 15,000 credits and the cool noises went on and on and on like a dream.) We finished the afternoon with a wonderful trip to the Indian Casino buffet where we had a two-for-one coupon. All in all, it was a very inexpensive, somewhat exciting, gastronomically satisfying diversion from regular life.

This coming weekend is, as you all know, the biggest summer party weekend of the year. The 4th of July has never been that thrilling for me, even though I am proud to be an American and I am legally able to drink. (Didn’t congress pass a law making it mandatory that one drink at least twelve cans of beer and three Long Island Ice Teas throughout the course of the holiday weekend? I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.) However, it is a nice, long weekend, and for that reason alone I can celebrate. I will spend the weekend with my entire family, blowing up the likes of a Ken doll with firecrackers, watching those poopy-looking ash snakes growing on every flat surface in sight, and enduring the prickly pain of sparkler sparkles landing on my hands while I do the dance-with-sparklers, which is done by everyone under the age of sixty-five at one point or another during the holiday weekend. This is also the biggest pot luck holidays of the year, and I have to decide what and how much to make.

In addition to the massive eating, drinking, and otherwise blowing things up, there is a craft show in which I will be showing my various works of art – or rather, various trinkets I pass as art. Lots and lots of things to do to get ready for that. Boyfriend and I like to attend these shows because there are just so many people to meet and talk to, not to mention lots of money to be made. I haven’t actually made all that much, but I know there is lots and lots of money being exchanged by other people. It’s taking me quite a bit of effort to gather up all of the things I want to show, in addition to all of the other things necessary when showing at an outdoor craft show, like a canopy, tables, chairs, and a cooler filled with those mandatory 4th of July beers.

I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had time to know the news of what’s going on in the world. Is there anything exciting happening? When I’m shopping at the grocery store for the ingredients of my 4th of July potluck food items I’ll pick up an issue of the Weekly World News and get all caught up. Until then, my pets …