January 25, 2010

Who Are You And What Do You Want?

Dear Internets,

Let me get this straight.  I can come visit you and be anything I want?  Like, I can be a goat, or a princess, or a bitch?  I can retain my anonymity and write anything I want in your presence and the only judgment I'll get is from complete strangers about whom I care nothing?  Sweet!

I had a conversation the other day with a friend who is learning the blogging ropes.  She started out with a shot and then kind of petered out.  (I've always hated that term, "petered out."  I have a cousin named Peter, who's really weird and it kind of reminds me of him, but mostly it just makes me think of dinks, shriveled, droopy ones, which is just plain gross.)  Anyway, one of the perks of  writing a blog is the fact that you can be anyone you want.  In fact, I have more than one blog so I can maintain my integrity no matter what.  See, like here, I can be a regular snark face, where on my other blog I'm more, well, reserved. 

My friend has yet to grasp this.  She doesn't realize she can be whomever she wants in her little corner of the universe.  Hell, she can have two or more corners of the universe like I do!  It's all a matter of what you have to say and how you want to say it.  I can't help but wonder if some of those famous bloggers out there are also some not-so-famous bloggers under some name that isn't familiar to the universe.

Another thing I wonder is how closely blog depictions of the authors' lives reflects their actual lives.  I mean, I find it hard to believe one woman can cook, craft, homeschool, housekeep, blog/maintain a website, sew, plumb, garden, perform home renovations, and at the end of the day keep her man uber satisfied by performing acrobatic acts in the bedroom.  Really?  Can one woman do all of that?  Believe me, there are blogs out there that will have you believe it, and make you feel like a shitty slug because you can't.  Oh, you'll feel inspired for a minute or two, but reality will kick in and you'll discover you're only good for spotty blogging, take-out food, public school conferences, and a kiss goodnight at best.

As I blather on and on I realize I'm not really saying much of anything in this post.  It's terribly boring.  But you know what?  I don't really care.  Because unlike the blogger who gives the impression she can do it all, I'm the blogger who writes a crappy blog and actually does it all.  That's right.  I'm out skydiving, showing my artwork in galleries, and feeding the poor.  I'm just too humble to brag about it in a silly little blog.

Excuse me now, I must go rock Boyfriend's world.  Oh yeah, that's another thing I do and totally do not blog about.  Except for just now.  Oops, secret's out.

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