May 18, 2006

Dining Experience Extraordinaire

I attributed personal taste to the wrongness of a Philly cheese steak pizza. I looked the other way when burger joints started serving taco salads. But I will not be silenced over the new Bowl-O-Slop offered by the local chicken shack.

Here it is: mashed potatoes topped with kernel corn topped with fried chicken bits topped with gravy topped with cheese. They serve it in a bowl. You eat it with a spoon. Good God, has it really come to this?

It reminds me of a time when I would wake up at 1:00 in the afternoon suffering a massive hangover. With a foggy brain I might scrounge the refrigerator and plop into a bowl all of the left over remains of a chicken dinner. I might eat it simply for relief of my dried up cat-like tongue caused by drinking a keg’s worth of $.25 beers and smoking three packs of cigarettes the night before. But even in the grog of such a hungover state, I would never put cheese over the whole thing.

Shouldn’t it be illegal to serve hangover food in a restaurant? Maybe it’s just a colossal joke on the part of the restaurant owners. America, please, don’t indulge them by actually paying for something that looks like it was sneezed out of a baby’s nose.

No comments: