May 12, 2006

Pick The Fuzz Out While You're At It

I have a friend of over twenty years who hasn’t the slightest idea what I’m all about. I attribute his being so unaware of my personality (and the many other personalities he associates with) to the fact that his life revolves around one primary activity – deep navel gazing.

The sport of deep navel gazing is one I dabbled in for many years, so I know of what I speak. It gives the illusion of self-awareness; in reality it is the inability to see beyond the scope of one’s self. It strengthens defense mechanisms and minimizes compassion and empathy. It sooths the ego, but disables the ability to formulate deep and intimate relationships. The best part about deep navel gazing is that it convinces the participant that he is superior.

Amazingly, deep navel gazers have an uncanny ability to infer the most bizarre accusations from the simplest of statements. Of course those inferences generally pose a threat to the gazer. When I say, “I accept you just as you are,” the gazer infers “she doesn’t think I accept people,” and goes off to defend his tolerance of humanity. When I say, “… if you were to see my conclusions of you in black and white ...” the gazer infers, “she sees me in black and white,” and defends his complex and colorful personality.

Colorful these gazers are, indeed. They defend themselves incessantly, looking for validation. Ultimately, they reveal themselves as unabashedly self-involved. When challenged to that effect, they’ll deny it to the death.

I love you navel gazers anyway. Between you and me we know who is right, who is just, and who is most important. We also know who will get in the last word.

The story never changes, and it’s always about you.

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